Jury Duty

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Added: Tue Jun 10th 10:14am
Posted in: Lifelong Learning

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Not long ago I received that letter from the government most of us dread. It was from the Clerk of the Courts advising me it was time to report to the courthouse for jury duty.
This is the fifth time I’ve been called. The routine was pretty much the same as the other four. About 150 people are told to report to the courthouse and wait to be assigned to a judge for a trial. Each judge picks about twenty people at random. This goes on all day. Until called, we all sat in this large room with uncomfortable chairs. The staff tried their best to make this experience as tolerable as possible. Their attitudes were bright and cheery and they actually tried to inject some humor into their instructions. Unfortunately, the performance went as well as a comedian’s monologue in front of a battalion of Buckingham Palace Guards. Not many laughs.
The room has a television, many old magazines, a jigsaw puzzle, a closed off smoking area, and four computers with Internet access. When I saw the machines at the back of the room I knew I wouldn’t be bored.
I wasn't called until the end of the day. This wasn't so bad because it gave me a chance to catch up on some reading. When I needed a break I would go to one of the computers when one became available. I’m not a big surfer so after I checked my favorite websites I was saddened to find only five minutes ticked off the clock. Then I realized the entertainment potential these computers offered.
The homepage of each computer was the Official Brevard County Portal. How boring. I mean how much time can you spend checking out how much your neighbors paid for their homes? Just as reporting for jury duty is my civic responsibility, I felt obligated to add a little pizzazz to these computers.
First, I needed to find a more useful homepage. There are many good ones but I selected Yahoo and opened an account for Harriette Moore, one of the people for whom the courthouse was named. I customized the page to include stuff like England's Premier Soccer League headlines and standings, horoscope, word of the day, joke of the day, and the weather and time in Keokuk, Iowa. Now, everyone viewed her home page as they sat down and when they clicked the home page button.
I wasn’t finished. The browser has a toolbar that allows you to add links to favorite websites with just one click of the mouse. I tried to think of what such a diverse population as those in this room might be interested in. Here is what I bookmarked: The Spam (food product) website, a link to a photo of Nick Nolte after being arrested, a link to a photo of Glen Campbell in the same condition, the Preparation H website, the Beano website, the Professional Bowlers Association, and one for a commercial fish chum company. As time passed I managed to configure all four computers the same way thus making sure no one would be left out.
Back to the civic responsibility. Toward the end of the day I was finally selected with a group of about twenty people. We were marched up to the courtroom where only the defense attorney asked questions. The questions were basically, “Can you be objective?” and “Do you know what reasonable doubt is?” After the questioning was over we were marched out of the room and returned about fifteen minutes later to see who was picked for the jury. I was one of the seven even though I was not asked a single question.
The case was open and shut. In a nutshell, a homeless man was refused a glass of water by the owner of a coffee shop so he took his bike chain and broke the glass of the front door. We had to return a few times to the jury deliberation room for various reasons, with instructions not to talk about the case. At first there was silence and then one juror asked, "Has anyone used the computers here?" All but one said they had. He then asked if they found anything unusual about them. He started to laugh and added, "Did anyone see the picture of Nick Nolte?" Another juror said, "I liked the Glen Campbell one better."
The lone woman on the jury didn't understand why the Beano home page was bookmarked. Before we returned to the courtroom I was the only one not laughing, saying I didn't get a chance to get on the computer. I said that someone was always on it.
The testimony was completed; the attorneys gave their closing statements. I felt bad for the defense attorney whose only excuse was "It was hot and the defendant was upset after being refused a glass of water. He snapped."
Deliberations should have lasted about ten seconds but one juror felt bad for the defendant. We all felt bad but we couldn't close our eyes to the truth. After an hour we finally convinced the holdout that the homeless man committed criminal mischief.
I was the foreperson on the jury and afterward the judge came over to me and asked what took so long.
I told them we didn't want to let the defendant think we didn't fully explore the merits of his case so we discussed a topic we all had in common, computers.